Deployment + Pregnancy

To start off, this second deployment came way sooner then I thought. I knew the date, knew he was deploying, but somehow my mind could not wrap around the fact that he was leaving again so soon. Come on! He just got back from one this past summer! So since my mind didn't allow me to fully understand that yes, he was leaving, it made it all the harder on me to say goodbye. Last deployment I cried the day I dropped him off, and only for a few minutes while I was driving home from the base. But with this one, I guess it fully hit me a week ago that I had to say goodbye yet again to the love of my life and the father of my daughter. Hence I started crying and has been crying on and off since that realization. And dropping him off this morning was probably the hardest thing I had to do in my life so far. I feel so happy and elated that we are bringing a little girl into this world, but with him gone it feels like its more me bringing her into the world and introducing 'daddy' later. So I feel horrible that this deployment and the navy is taking this wonderful experience from him to share. Yes he will get belly pictures, baby updates and pictures, video of the labor and thousands of pictures of the baby when she is outside of my womb. But he won't be able to get the chance to watch me grow with her, see how much she has grown in ultrasounds, doctor's appointments, attend labor classes with me, coach me through labor, and the one that hits me the hardest is he won't be able to bond with this little miracle we created until he comes home. Yes we knew he was deploying before we got pregnant with her, but we also did not know we would get lucky so soon! Seriously, one month BEFORE we start clomid and IUI's? God must have a plan for us and just loves pushing us to our limits because this is a doozy of a journey that both Vance and I have to travel to bring her to life and give her a good one. Preparing for her and keeping her daddy in the loop will hopefully make this deployment go by in a flash. I know this is tough on both of us, but we have to be strong to make a happy life for her. So here is to the first blog entry of many. Later!