Day 19 What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

What do I think of religion and politics? Whoa what loaded questions are those! Religion to me is something to believe in. Help a person become a better person, be all they can be. I am a Presbyterian so I am another leg of the Christian segment. I think it is a good basis on one's morals. If somebody has something to model after or try to be then less sin/mistakes happen. So it is really good thing for somebody to have in their lives. I can go on and on and ramble away but I think this deems a simple answer since I am not doing a debate :]

Now as for politics. I don't follow nor care to really follow it. I have my own beliefs and thoughts and that is portrayed in my voting. But I swear these days all politics is about is who cheated on their spouse and how it will effect their campaign and basically digging in each other's dirty closets. I  am not a fan of popularity contests hence my disinterest in it.

Day 18 Your views on gay marriage.

I have absolutely no problem with gay marriage at all. If two people love each other then go for it! I really do not understand the whole theory of "if we let them marry, then what next? A person can marry their dog?" It makes absolutely no sense! A marriage is between two PEOPLE who LOVE each other and want to spend their lives together, building a family (be it adoption, surrogacy, natural) and cherishing that other person. It doesn't have to just be between a man and a woman. It is just us humans that find it "different" or "immoral". There are same sex pairings in wildlife, if they can accept it why can't the entire human race?

Day 17 A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Do I have to really choose just one? I don't think I can do that. But I can at least narrow it down to one author and that has to be Nicholas Sparks. I have been reading his books since I was a little kid and taking them from my mother's book shelf. I love how his books most of the time do NOT have that happy ending. They usually end with something that leaves the reader either disappointed that it wasn't the happy ending or in a very contemplative mood because the reader realizes that life isn't always about the "good parts" or the "happy endings" sometimes shit just happens and things go not according to plan (excuse my french). Many of his books has put me in that mood. And I am not talking about it teaching me to not have high expectations or anything. Just that they changed my view on only good things can happen. Everything, bad or good, happens for a reason, and they go hand in hand. You can't have one without the other. Nothing and nobody is perfect, people sin, people pass away, mistakes are made and consequences follow, not every guy "gets the girl", friends come and go and that is life.

Day 16 Someone or something you definitely could live without.

lol I can say the internet. I can definitely live without it, (not like I WANT to live without it), just that I can. Without it I can spend more time doing my hobbies, playing with Rosie, getting housework done etc. BUT with it I can keep in touch with family that is spread out throughout the country and the world. So it is a helper and a time consumer.

Day 15 Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Oo easy one. MY HUSBAND! Even though I need to tweak the truth a little bit. I didn't TRY to live without him, I HAD to live without him. It's called the military people and it involves deployments. He has been on two so far. First one was 6 months, second one was 7 months and there was only 3 months of him being home between the two of them. And there are underways, ranging from a couple of days to months that he has around these deployments. And even before he was assigned to a ship, I had to live without him while he went to boot camp, A school, Power school. ( I got married to him during that one!). In the entire time we have been a couple he has been gone most of it. But I am so glad and lucky that he is in my life as much as he is.

Day 14 A hero that has let you down.

I know I am probably going to be the odd one out on this one but I have never had a "hero" let alone one that let me down. Even when I was younger and had teachers make us write essays about who is our hero and what they did etc. I always had to make one up or write about my sister or dad or some actor blah blah blah. I don't like to look up to people if you don't already know that about me. Looking up to somebody to me makes me think that I want to "follow" this person and do what they do and try to "copy" their actions. Kind of like what a 2 year old does with older children. Every person should strive to be a better them, not strive to be somebody else.

Day 13 A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Do I seriously have to choose just one?!?!?! Ok! If I have to. I will have to say Nickelback. They have been in my life since forever. I still remember sitting in my husband's (then boyfriend) jeep and singing along to nickelback as he drove us to school or out to a date, or to pick up his sister from school and go to german club etc etc. I even remember talking to him about making plans to go see a concert of theirs without our parents lol (very wishful thinking on our part). And of course that never happened.

And I also remember the day he went off to boot camp. That morning I said goodbye to him, went to school, got on the bus to go to my bowling class and crying the entire way there to the song "Far Away". That was not the only time I would cry to the song during his boot camp days, during our first deployment, and even our second. It seems everytime that boy has to leave I have to plug in Nickelback, skip to that song and just have myself a good cry every now and then. And its not just that one song either!
Their new album came out when my husband was on his first underway (month long one) right before his first deployment (6 month long one). And I have to say it exceeded my expectations. I fell in love with them all over again. I even managed to go to a concert of theirs with my sister in law like a week before Vance came home from his first deployment. I swear one day I will go to a Nickelback concert WITH my husband a long with since it is his all time favorite band :D

Day 12 Something you never get compliments on.

Other then right after I got my braces off my Senior year, I will have to say my smile. My teeth are not perfect (yes, even after braces), and they are not movie star white. My smile is probably my one feature that really don't like about myself also. But yea, other then the couple of months after I had my braces taken off, nobody really compliments about it. But seriously that is not something a lot of people even bother to compliment about anyways lol

Day 11 Something people seem to compliment you the most on

If I asked my husband he would say everything (what a sweetie) but the something people seem to compliment me the most on is probably my ability to listen. All of my friends know they can come to me and I will listen to whatever is wrong or whatever they want to vent about. Even if I don't have any pertinent advice sometimes, its nice to just have that somebody that you can talk to about anything and they won't judge. And I am lucky to be able to have them do the same for me :D

Day 10 Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

I can honestly (and luckily) say that there is nobody that is in or has ever been in my life that I wish I didn't know. In my opinion, people are in your life for a reason. Be it a bad or good. You learn or get something from it or they learn or get something from the it. How ever long or short, interesting or boring, bad or good, they are there for a reason and its nothing to wish away.

Day 09 Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Ahhh this one I can do! Being a military wife I move around a lot and that means leaving behind a lot of people, friends and family alike. I have a lot of friends back from high school that are just "drifting" so to speak because there is no way I can hang out with them anymore. Only a select few I am actually in regular contact with and I am blessed with that. There are also a lot of new friends I made back in SC where my husband and I lived for a bit that we all got stationed across the country from each other, so they are drifting as well. All I can say is thank goodness for technology so we can keep up on each others lives!!

Day 08 Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Ummmm that would be no one. I do not tolerate people in my life that are negative impacts on me, let alone kept them in my life to make my life hell. In my experience the only person who can make your life hell is your own self.  Everybody has their choices in life, including the ones they share it with.

Day 07 Someone who has made your life worth living for.

It is not really a someone, it is a someones. I have to say it is everybody I care about. Be it family or friend. They are the people that make my life enjoyable. My family to laugh with on the phone and go visit during holidays, my friends to confide in and swap children with. My husband to share everything with, hopes, joys, dreams, grow old with, have babies together, spoil future grandchildren, act like total dorks out in public ( I think you get the picture with him :D), and last but not least my baby girl. Roselyn was a great miracle and both Vance and have I have her to live for. I mean, come on! We are raising and taking care of another human being! She is totally dependent on us and that is a huge responsibility. She is one of the bigger "someones" that made my life worth living and I will enjoy every minute of it!

Day 06 Something you hope you never have to do.

This is another easy one. I hope to never bury a child. I have had miscarriages in the past and those were devastating to me themselves. I really would not know how I would be able to survive with my sanity if I actually met them, held them in my arms, taught them things, had them grow in front of my eyes and then lose them. I know I wouldn't be able to come back from that whole.

Day 05 Something you hope to do in your life.

I am a little behind so I will be doing 3 days today in different posts. This shall be interesting :]

So something I hope to do in my life. That is an easy one! I want to travel outside of the country. At this point I don't even care where we go (we as in my little family). Originially I really really really wanted to hit up Venice, Italy and one of these days I will. But now a days I don't even care where. It can be Ireland, Scotland, Germany, Italy, even freaking Australia! I just want to see and experience a different culture other then my own for once. Seriously, I am an Anthropology major that has never been out of the USA. So that is something I hope to do in my life (more then hope, I KNOW I am going to do it in my life)

Day 04 Something you have to forgive someone for.

Honestly, there is nobody I have to forgive that I already haven't forgiven. I do not hold grudges at all and I trust easily so even if somebody did something for me to even have to forgive, I will trust them again pretty soon afterwords (if you can understand all of that). Vance thinks its one of my faults lol.

Day 03 Something you have to forgive yourself for

There is one really big thing that I need to forgive myself for and this is long time in coming. I basically have just put it in the back of my mind and try not to think about it but as you can see, it can sit there and fester and basically make you one feel so guilt ridden. So here it goes. My brother left the house before I became a junior in high school. He didn't leave on friendly terms with my parents and I felt like he could have matured up some and just followed the rules of the house and therefore he wouldn't have left me the only child in that house. After he left I became pretty lonely there. I never realized how much company he actually was. And then when Vance left for boot camp I felt like I was being left behind with everything. So that was the start of me not talking to my brother. I remember a couple of times where he actually tried to call my cell before my shift started at work but I ignored them because in my mind he abandoned me and I was left to grow up by myself basically. So back then, I thought I had reason enough to technically 'abandon" him.

Now here is a little back story. My brother (yes he is my half brother but I never put the half in front of it) was born HIV positive. The doctors said he would never live past 2 years old because of how sick he was. He defied all odds with the help from my parents and grew up to become as healthy as he could be. He grew strong and looked like any other teenage boy. If not for all the medicine and doctor's appointments no one was the wiser. He hated it all of course, but it was the only things keeping him alive. As soon as he left the house he wasn't as vigilant in taking his medicine and going to see his doctors. I think he gave up on it all just so he can feel he lived for once. So he was gone and I basically put him out of my mind. I never realized how much I can regret something. I graduated, moved away, got married and never really thought about anything or anybody but myself and my new life. I saw my brother once before he passed away. And by then it was too late. He was trached and couldn't speak. So I couldn't even hear his voice. And by then he wasn't able to write anymore so we couldn't converse. I never thought it would be that bad when I flew home to visit because my parents told me he wasn't doing so good. After staying near his care facility for a couple of days I had to go back home to SC because of my schooling. I remember the phone call from my family telling me he wasn't going to last the night, I remember the plane ride home with my husband to attend his funeral, I remember the funeral itself, the plane ride home, and the acting like everything was normal. But what I remember most is how guilty I felt for acting like such a child back then. I could have spent the last two years of his life being his sister, and friend. Seriously, this was the brother that everybody thought we were twins, we always teamed up against our older sisters, we went to the same school at the same time, so he walked me to and from grade school, taught me the hallways of high school. And all because he got out of the house and lived the life he wanted, I acted like I was the victim and took him out of my life and notice.  And it wasn't until too late that I realized my mistake and grew up.

So this is what I need to forgive myself for. I need to drill it into my head that I was just a child and was acting like one.  I know he understood it more then I did in the end. Here is the last time I saw my brother alive and I will forever remember. I forgive myself.

Day 02 Something you love about yourself.

On to day number 2! A little late, but better late then never. Ummm so something I love about myself.  I will have to narrow it all down to me loving my maternal side. I absolutely love love love children and I am so glad that I was able to finally become a mother. I started taking care of babies when I was 11 years old and back then I didn't want to have any biological children. I wanted to adopt the world basically. Vance and I still plan on adopting at least once when he is out of the navy so I will at least accomplish that dream. But I am thrilled that I was able to carry Rose full term and be able to be apart of her life. It is such a blessing. So to describe it better, the thing I love the most about myself is my capacity to figure out what is wrong with my little one, how to make her stop crying (and sometimes other people's little ones) and how much love I can give her and other ones. Like seriously, how can you NOT love a baby, even one's that are not your own?

Day 01 Something you hate about yourself.

I really never liked that word. Ever since high school I have tried not to use it at all, directed at anybody, especially at myself. I have a healthy amount of self confidence so you can see how using the word hate or even dislike directed towards oneself, doesn't help with that. But I know I have to pick one thing and I guess that will be my need to please people even at the expense of my own happiness. My husband was actually the first person that ever pointed it out to me and I thank him for it even to this day.
I never realized how my constant need to please everybody effected me until I moved away, got married and I finally had somebody tell me to stick up for myself and that it was ok to say no to people. Back then before I tried to do anything about it I was plagued with so much stress that I had migraines almost every day and I didn't even know what it was stemming from. But I have to say I only get the occasional migraine these days :D 
But even though I now know what my problem is it is still difficult for me to say no. For example, if I really really really really need to get things done around the house, I actually have things planned, or I would like to relax for a day, I will drop everything if somebody, friends/family,wants me to go out somewhere. To me saying no to them will make them think I don't want to hang out with them, or I am putting them off etc etc. Even though I know its because I actually had other things to do. So I say yes, go out, come home and feel bad because I didn't get anything done that needed to be done or I feel worn out because I didn't get to relax like my body needs, especially if I just traveled 18 hours in a car. But you want to know the other part? If I actually do say no I will feel bad the rest of the day because I said no. So I can honestly say I hate how my mind works and why I feel like it is my duty to make everybody around me happy and not myself.

30 days of truth, the description

A lot of my friends are starting this new challenge and I decided to jump on the band wagon with them :] It is called 30 days of truth and each day there is a new question/statement that I have to tell the answer with all honesty. I am hoping this is a good experience for me and my family. I might even snag my hubby into doing this with me. (he is not the writing sort but I have some good persuasion techniques lol) Here are each day and their coinciding question/statement. Wish me luck!

01 Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11  Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12  Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13  A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17  A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21  (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Happy Birthday to me!

That's right. I am now the most sought after 2-1! And now since my lovely husband surprised me with getting special liberty today so he can get off work at noon, this momma can go out and celebrate today properly! I am planning on going out to dinner with friends and probably some bowling afterwards too. Super excited :D I haven't decided on a first drink yet or a place to eat. I am going between Chili's and Applebee's, and a daiquiri or a margarita lol. Decisions decisions! All I do know is I am going to have tons of fun but I will definitely be missing my hubs and baby girl at home. I know I need the break but I feel bad about it too. We will probably go out tomorrow so I can celebrate with them. If it doesn't rain (like it has been for the past week) then we can all go and have a picnic or a nice walk around Mt. Trashmore. We shall see :]

On another note, my baby can roll! BUT not the normal stomach to back roll that she should be doing right now. Oh no no no no, she doesn't do it like that. She can roll back to front! GO GIRL! I m so proud of her. Even though she was doing it during a screaming fit, she can still do it. Probably not voluntarily though. She was sort of flailing about and ended up on her stomach twice lol. I can't wait until she meets her other milestones, but I can at the same time. My baby is growing up way to fast! But I LOOOOVE seeing her grow. I love seeing her chubby cheeks and legs get chubbier, I love seeing her smile and laugh, and I looooove her sweet baby smell. She doesn't have that "new baby" smell anymore. But she definitely smells like baby and its wonderful (most of the time that is haha) She is going to be gorgeous when she gets older, I just know it. Mama and dada love you princess *kisses*

*whir....whir....whir*

That is the beautiful sound of my daughter's swing...well swinging. I hear the whirring of it accompanied by her soft little baby sleep noises. Oh what a wonderful sound! You know how I had that absolutely great baby that slept through the ENTIRE night? Yea, say buh bye to her and say hello to miss I-want-to-play-at-2am-and-3am-and-probably-add-a-4am-to-that-too. I think she just did it to trick me into getting used to sleeping all night just so she can drop her I don't want to sleep bomb on me so I am even more tired! But you want to know something else? She does it to me more on the nights when her daddy has duty. As in he isn't here. So when he does come home and I am passing out on the couch randomly instead of snuggling with him, Rosie gets him all to herself. lol, the little stinker. 

Life has been great so far despite that. Vance and I are soaking up the time we do have together and we really enjoy having miss Rose in the house. I think I have FINALLY come to the point in her life that I don't feel like the babysitter, I am not afraid of somebody coming to the door and demanding their child back. She is my daughter and she is stuck with me :D I know, very late in coming but it is here. Just looking into her beautiful blue eyes and her gummy smile and knowing she is of my blood, she came from my body, just melts my heart. After the third miscarriage I thought this day would never come. I thought I would never be able to feel a baby kick me from the inside, never thought I would nurse my baby and hold him/her in my arms. And now that I actually got to experience those things I want to do it all over again. But then those fears come to the surface again. Will I lose more little ones before I can experience childbirth again? Will I have to go through the grieving of more babies before I can hold another newborn in my arms and look down into his or her pretty blue eyes? All I can really do is keep my faith and stay positive that Rose will get siblings sometime in the future. And on that note, lil' Rosie decided to wake up from her nap :]

Life since homecoming

Why hello there stranger! I haven't written in you for MONTHS! Today I just realized I still had you haha. Well a lot has happened of course. Rosie was born, Vance came home from deployment, quick vacation to Illinois.You know, little things lol. Life nowadays has been pretty hectic. Vance just came home at the end of July and he barely had time to get used to being on land and we were off to IL to visit family during his leave and get Rosie baptized. The vacay was pretty fun. It was nice showing off the baby :D (who just woke up right now from her morning nap, I need to hurry this post up!) We were able to see everybody while we were there, buy a new car (2004 Ford Escape, I loooooove it) and get her baptized August 8th when she was exactly 2 months old. We made the big drive home and have been trying to get used to everything since then. I have to get used to him being home, having an extra hand around the house and with the baby and his work schedule. While he is trying to get used to being home, actually having free time and a new baby. It has been quite an adjustment I tell ya! But it has been wonderful! Vance is a fantastic father and a great help with everything and I really do not want him to go on this underway they are about to leave on. I just got used to him being around and he has to leave again. I call bull crap on that! On a good note, he won't be gone long and I have plenty to do while he is gone. Now our little Rosebud is still sleeping in our bedroom. I can't even get her to sleep in her pack n' play let alone her crib in her nursery. So that will be goal #1 for me to work on while daddy is gone. Lack of sleep much? She is a nursing champion and I love being able to feed her. She is such a good eater and gaining weight like mad! Definitely turning into a little chunker. The dogs are really well behaved around her thankfully an life is good. Now hopefully in a few days I can give an update of Vance coming home, Rosie sleeping in her crib, house cleaned up spotless and all my projects done. Wishful thinking right? Later!

Halfway done?

Ok so if they do not extend we are over halfway done with this deployment! Can anybody give me a hell yea!?!?! It has been awhile since I have posted on here but not a lot has happened. I have had plenty of doctors appointments. All good. Only one I had to have an impromptu ultrasound because my fundal height was measuring a month behind but my last appointment it was right one time. Baby girl has been a lot more active. It seems she rarely sleeps! And man it hurts when she moves now. She is definitely going to give her mommy and daddy a run for our money when she makes her appearance. I have been doing pretty darn good otherwise. I am just now starting to get uncomfortable. My back hurts at night, my skin feels stretched, I get tired easily, sleeping less, really difficult to turn over and move around as much as I am used to. I just want this pregnancy to be over and for her to be happy and healthy and in my arms :D

I have her nursery almost done. The crib, dresser, and shelf thingie are all set up. The bedding is on the bed etc. I just need to put up the wall decals, add a lazy boy and then the baby :D I still need to get the diaper bag ready, and the hospital bag ready. And I ALSO need to go out and get the rest of the stuff on my registry. But otherwise I have the basics. So I will survive the first couple of weeks at least :] I just can't wait until she is here and then she will keep me plenty busy until her daddy comes home and I can't wait until I see her in his arms for the first time! It will definitely be a magical day.

Now update on my wonderful husband! They just got done with a port call and he had fun up until the last two days. One he was stuck in the sandbox and the last he had duty. Not fun. Oh well! The second day he enjoyed some drinks and a sunset safari.I really enjoyed the pictures he was able to email to me. He sent a package to me a few weeks ago that I am anxiously awaiting its arrival here. Time has just been flying for me and I can't believe we are this close to having a daughter and so close to him coming back home again. It will be nice to finally be a family. Well it is bed time for me so hopefully my wee girl decides to calm her little behind down a bit so I can sleep. Later!

mmm fruity pebbles and KFC!

Hello! We are now getting close to almost 2 months down! I can't believe it! This past month just flew by. I still remember in January wishing it was February already and now February is almost over its crazy! I am starting to buckle down and get things done around here. School is still kicking my behind but that is ok. I have the rest of this week to play catch up. I am starting to clean up the house because I am going through another one of my 'nesting' periods so we shall see how long this one lasts.

I just got out of the hospital on Saturday after a horrible 4 day stay because of a bad kidney infection. I am so glad I am out now! Vance was able to call me twice during my stay and that made my days even though both times I was either interrupted by our daughter laying on my bladder or I was exhausted! I didn't get a lot of sleep at all there with being woken up every 4 hours to do vitals. Not fun at all. But I am doing fantastic now and so is baby girl. So here are a few of my currents to update ya'll and so I can have them on record.
Current:
Cravings- KFC (everyday!) and fruity pebbles lol
Weight- 105 the last time I checked. I am up 15 lbs!
Clothes- I am officially out of my old jeans, even with the belly bands they hurt so my maternity pants and sweat pants are my life now.
Morning sickness- haven't thrown up since the day I got discharged from the hospital, but those days are very few and far between
Stretch marks- only on the girls still so far. Tummy is covered in veins though!
Peeves- Everything can set me off right now, but I am generally really happy
Energy Level- Still absolutely non existent haha
Doc Appts- I had a PCM appt. yesterday (changed pcms right after wards lol) and I have an OB appt on Thursday!
Plans- Zane is flying in on the 27th and we are going to drive from here to IL on the 1st and drive back here on the 13th or the 14th. I can't wait!!!

Recent purchases:
Crib, dresser, a BUNCH of carter newborn outfits for baby girl, a plane ticket lol, and Angie threw an Arbonne party the other day and I got a bunch of spa stuff to help my skin and help me relax before and after baby. I also got some make up from them too thanks to the help of a friend. So I can practice and fiddle with it for homecoming so I can look good for my hubby :D

OK well that is my update! I think its nap time for me haha. Later gator!

Care packages, oh no!

So far this first month of the deployment is going by way faster then what I thought. We are in the last week of the month and I still feel like he left yesterday. It feels so weird not having him in the house but yet I am so used to it too so I am doing perfectly fine until I remember that he isn't coming home for quite some time. I have been trying to stay busy and its been working. School is kicking my butt with the work load, I have wonderful friends here to hang out with, shop, talk and eat with on a daily basis, dogs to take care of and cuddle with and a wonderful husband to email and plan things for :]

Which brings me to the care packages! I feel so horrible lol. That first deployment I had a care package off within 2 weeks of him leaving and with this one I had one semi ready since he left but I kept on putting off the ship off date. Horrible me! But it is officially sent off and on its way to him finally :] And it is full of things he actually needed or forgot, like toilet paper, more white socks, replacement tooth brush etc. So I kind of overdone it with this second one already :D I haven't gotten anything for it yet but MAN did I decorate it! I hope he loves it. I know it will at least make him laugh lol. But I will be shopping for things to put in it this week and it will be sent off on Friday most likely. (hoping for Friday haha).

Now onto baby update! She is doing fantastic in there having a ball apparently. Our little Rosie is a night owl (very active at night but I can still get to sleep through her kicking and rolling), loves to explore (kicks my cervix, OUCH!) and is making mommy grow so much (a.k.a stretch marks on the girls.... *sad face*) Despite a crappy anatomy scan Rosie and I are doing fantastic here at home despite the occasional morning sickness moment still lol, yes I am 20 weeks along and I still have it, its loads of fun haha. Now plans for the rest of the month of January. I am babysitting and doing homework and shopping this week. And this weekend I have the ike frg craft AND a baby shower to go to. I am excited :] And that is pretty much it for this month. I already have some wonderful plans for February and I can't wait! It would be neat if I can wake up and it be March or April already, but then again I want to sit back, relax and enjoy this pregnancy. I am just so excited to meet her face to face finally and then have her daddy come home! I am really impatient but thats ok. I know every new mother is :D Ok that is it for tonight! I will be back on soon.

Kicks, baby bumps, and life :]

Its been awhile since I posted so here it goes! Lately I have been super busy so I am pretty excited to update this finally with everything that has been going on. I had another 3d/4d ultrasound and she was perfectly perfect :] She had some meat on her bones this time so it wasn't as creepy. There was an OB appointment after that too that was a disappointment and that is all I am going to say on that subject. On some good news our baby girl Roselyn is kicking the shit out of me! And I can see my tummy bulge out now from her! Super scary when you think about how tiny she is and how much strength she already has but that is good that she is strong :D I am very proud of her accomplishments already. I got one of the first tummy bulging kicks on video so I can send to daddy. I know he will love it as I do. I wish he was here to experience it with me of course but videos are the next best thing in the military life. My baby bump is growing faster then I can wrap my head around too. I know I am supposed to be a tad bigger by now but I am happy by her growth. I can't wait for the anatomy scan on Tuesday so I can see her beautiful face again! Ok well I need to stop blogging and get to my homework! EECK! lol Later :D

"D" Day

Went a little easier then I thought. Yesterday morning was a bit rushed so it went by fast. I thought I was going to be in hysterics watching the ship actually leave port but I wasn't. I cried on the phone with him one last time before they pulled off. I cut the conversation short because the tears were running down my face and I didn't want the last conversation he had with me for a while was be bawling my eyes out. I wanted it to be happy, and filled with things we are going to do when he gets back.

So almost 10 minutes after I got off the phone, the tug boats came, and pushed the ship off. The ship went sideways a bit then pulled forward. As soon as the tug boats let go that ship took off and booked it out of there as soon as it could. It was a lot faster then last time. It surprised me a bit. But made me feel better that they were getting to where they were going as soon as they could and so they can get back into the groove of things and get this deployment over with.

Angie and I went to three different places to take some pictures as it was leaving. It was cold because of the biting wind. So I got out of the vehicle once to take two pics and a video of them moving, and got back inside the warmth of the car as soon as I could. That is all we need. Me the preggo to get sick as soon as he leaves.

Here is my favorite picture I took of the ship. I hate that ship yes, but I love seeing that floating piece of metal home and hooked to the pier. It was really saddening to see it leave with my sailor, my husband on that ship. It was like seeing my life just float away even though I know I have my own life here and a lot to look forward to. Like this little one in my tummy. 


She has been kicking me all last night, and so far this morning. And she even woke me up early this morning because she was on my bladder or something. First time this pregnancy that I had to get up out of bed because I had to pee lol. Proof that she is growing and getting big despite everything going on, on the outside. I am officially 17 weeks today, just three more weeks and I will be halfway done with this pregnancy and that kind of scared me a little. So I have decided that this week is going to be full of cleaning, doctor's appointments, planning, and doing random things to pass the time. Like this blog :] This has so far been helping me out a lot with organizing my thoughts. So I will keep this up :]

Deployment + Pregnancy

To start off, this second deployment came way sooner then I thought. I knew the date, knew he was deploying, but somehow my mind could not wrap around the fact that he was leaving again so soon. Come on! He just got back from one this past summer! So since my mind didn't allow me to fully understand that yes, he was leaving, it made it all the harder on me to say goodbye. Last deployment I cried the day I dropped him off, and only for a few minutes while I was driving home from the base. But with this one, I guess it fully hit me a week ago that I had to say goodbye yet again to the love of my life and the father of my daughter. Hence I started crying and has been crying on and off since that realization. And dropping him off this morning was probably the hardest thing I had to do in my life so far. I feel so happy and elated that we are bringing a little girl into this world, but with him gone it feels like its more me bringing her into the world and introducing 'daddy' later. So I feel horrible that this deployment and the navy is taking this wonderful experience from him to share. Yes he will get belly pictures, baby updates and pictures, video of the labor and thousands of pictures of the baby when she is outside of my womb. But he won't be able to get the chance to watch me grow with her, see how much she has grown in ultrasounds, doctor's appointments, attend labor classes with me, coach me through labor, and the one that hits me the hardest is he won't be able to bond with this little miracle we created until he comes home. Yes we knew he was deploying before we got pregnant with her, but we also did not know we would get lucky so soon! Seriously, one month BEFORE we start clomid and IUI's? God must have a plan for us and just loves pushing us to our limits because this is a doozy of a journey that both Vance and I have to travel to bring her to life and give her a good one. Preparing for her and keeping her daddy in the loop will hopefully make this deployment go by in a flash. I know this is tough on both of us, but we have to be strong to make a happy life for her. So here is to the first blog entry of many. Later!