*whir....whir....whir*

That is the beautiful sound of my daughter's swing...well swinging. I hear the whirring of it accompanied by her soft little baby sleep noises. Oh what a wonderful sound! You know how I had that absolutely great baby that slept through the ENTIRE night? Yea, say buh bye to her and say hello to miss I-want-to-play-at-2am-and-3am-and-probably-add-a-4am-to-that-too. I think she just did it to trick me into getting used to sleeping all night just so she can drop her I don't want to sleep bomb on me so I am even more tired! But you want to know something else? She does it to me more on the nights when her daddy has duty. As in he isn't here. So when he does come home and I am passing out on the couch randomly instead of snuggling with him, Rosie gets him all to herself. lol, the little stinker. 

Life has been great so far despite that. Vance and I are soaking up the time we do have together and we really enjoy having miss Rose in the house. I think I have FINALLY come to the point in her life that I don't feel like the babysitter, I am not afraid of somebody coming to the door and demanding their child back. She is my daughter and she is stuck with me :D I know, very late in coming but it is here. Just looking into her beautiful blue eyes and her gummy smile and knowing she is of my blood, she came from my body, just melts my heart. After the third miscarriage I thought this day would never come. I thought I would never be able to feel a baby kick me from the inside, never thought I would nurse my baby and hold him/her in my arms. And now that I actually got to experience those things I want to do it all over again. But then those fears come to the surface again. Will I lose more little ones before I can experience childbirth again? Will I have to go through the grieving of more babies before I can hold another newborn in my arms and look down into his or her pretty blue eyes? All I can really do is keep my faith and stay positive that Rose will get siblings sometime in the future. And on that note, lil' Rosie decided to wake up from her nap :]